谁家最好山,我愿为其邻

阅读本文大约需要: <1 分钟

昨天写了一篇博客,皮皮同学说我对“between”都翻译不对的点评——估计大学四级是很难通过的——有点太狠了,因为大家都怕被大牛否定。赶紧解释我一点也不大牛,因为我自己就没有过四级,最终连补考也没有过,就这样没有拿到本科学位证,只好去考研究生的悲惨经历。

其实每个译者的成熟,都是一部血泪史。我们都是从没有经验的“小白”渐渐成长起来的。下面是一篇中英双语的译文,征得译者同意,我要简单地讨论一下其中的一些句子。

声明:本文仅评论汉语译文,并不表示我赞成文章中的观点。Disclaimer: this is a critical comment on translation; it does not mean the author agrees with any points in the original article.):


Dear Roger, My husband and I are planning to buy a house. Are there biblical guidelines for house buying? If so, could you please share them with us? We would also appreciate any advice you could give. Sincerely, Kimberly and Don.

亲爱的Roger, 我和我的丈夫打算买房。关于买房,有没有合乎圣经的指导?如果有,是否可以分享给我们?我们将非常感激您提供的任何建议。

Dear Kimberly and Don, Let me share with you some things to keep in mind from a biblical perspective when you are thinking about purchasing a house.

亲爱的Kimberly和Don, 当你想买房子的时候,让我从圣经的角度和你分享一些要记住的事情。

[注:Let me share with you, 译为“你们”比较好,因为Kim和Don是夫妻二人。]

  1. BIBLICAL ECONOMICS BEGINS WITH GOD’S PROMISE THAT IF WE GIVE HIM THE TOP PORTION OF OUR INCOME, HE WILL MEET OUR FINANCIAL NEEDS.
  2. 圣经经济学从上帝的应许开始:如果我们给神收入的最好的部分,祂将满足我们经济上的需求。

[注:尽量减少“的”字的使用。“如果我们给神收入的最好部分”。]

[注:动词尽量考虑用双字词。“如果我们奉献给神收入的最好部分”]

The first portion of our income is called the “tithe” (10%) which is validated by Jesus in Luke 11:42. I’m convinced that the reason many Christians struggle in financial bondage is because they refuse to follow this first step in a godly financial plan. 我们收入的第一部分被称为“十分之一”(10%)。耶稣在路加福音11:42节证实十分之一依然有效。我深信,许多基督徒在经济束缚中挣扎的原因,是因为他们拒绝遵循敬虔财政计划的第一步。

[注:validated by Jesus in Luke 11:42,“耶稣在路加福音11:42节证实十分之一依然有效”。修改为:路加福音11:42记载,耶稣曾证实……]

“Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. “But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’ “In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—becauseyou are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house,” says the Lord Almighty, “trust me in this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it” (Malachi 3:8-10). 人岂可夺取神之物呢?你们竟夺取我的供物。你们却说:“我们在何事上夺取你的供物呢?”就是你们在当纳的十分之一和当献的供物上。因你们通国的人都夺取我的供物,咒诅就临到你们身上。万军之耶和华说:你们要将当纳的十分之一全然送入仓库,使我家有粮,以此试试我是否为你们敞开天上的窗户,倾福与你们,甚至无处可容。(玛拉基书3:8-10)

This is the only verse in the Bible where God invites us to trust Him. This is really important. 这是圣经中唯一一节上帝邀请我们相信祂的经文。这真的很重要。

[注:译文有神学上被人误解的可能。“trust me in this and see if …”,最好译为:“这是圣经中唯一一节上帝邀请我们来试一试祂的经文”]

  1. REFUSE TO BE SEDUCED BY MATERIALISM AND STATUS SYMBOLS.
  2. 拒绝被物质主义和身份象征所诱惑。

Psalm 49 is the Psalm of the rich materialist. God is warning us that if we’re overawed by someone else’s house, envious of it, or attracted to it, we are indanger of falling into the trap of materialism. 诗篇49篇是关于富有的物质主义者的诗篇。上帝警告我们,如果我们惧怕别人的家室増荣,嫉妒它,或者被它吸引,我们就有落入物质主义陷阱的危险。

The most universal, time-tested, status symbol in human history is the house. The house is not the only status symbol in society. Cars, clothes, jewelry, club memberships, and suntans would be a partial list of others. 人类历史上最具普遍性、经得起时间考验的地位象征是房子。房子并不是唯一的社会地位象征。汽车、衣服、珠宝、俱乐部会员资格和晒黑者也是社会地位的象征。

[注:The most universal, time-tested, status symbol in human history is the house. 考虑将短一点的名词放在前面,定义放在后面。人类历史上最具普遍性、经得起时间考验的地位象征是房子。修改:“房子是人类历史上最具普遍性、经得起时间考验的地位象征。”]

[注:“be a partial list of others.” "也是社会地位的象征". partial list 漏译。]

It’s no surprise that when God wants to teach us the danger of seeking after status symbols in Psalm 49, He would use the house as an illustration. God never teaches that a big house is proof that the occupants are materialists. After all, there are many very rich and righteous people in the Bible – like Abraham and Joseph. The result of materialism and status seeking is often misery and despair(Ecclesiastes 2:4-11). This is especially true when we buy more house than we can afford. 在诗篇49中,当上帝想教导我们追求社会地位象征的危险时,他用房子作为例证,这毫不奇怪。上帝从来没有教导说拥有大房子就能证明这个人是物质主义者。毕竟,圣经中有许多富有的义人—如亚伯拉罕和约瑟。物质主义和追逐地位的结果往往是悲惨和绝望。(传道书2:4-11)当我们买的房子超过我们的支付能力,这一点尤其正确。

[注:After all, there are many very rich and righteous people in the Bible. "圣经中有许多富有的义人"。very 漏译,减弱了这句话的力度。“圣经里有许多极其富有,也极其公义的人”。]

  1. HOUSES AREN’T THE PRIORITY THAT WE THINK THEY ARE. 3.房子不是我们认为的优先事项。

[注:误译。修改:房子并不像我们所认为的那样不可或缺。]

Paul defined contentment in 1 Timothy 6:8: “If we have food and clothes we will be content with that.” There is no mention of houses. There are entire cultures in our world where practically no one owns a house. In many countries four or five families live in a house smaller than one American house. I’ve seen it. 保罗在提摩太前书6:8中定义了何为知足。“只要有衣有食,就当知足。”保罗没有提到房子。在我们的世界里,有整个的文明,没有一个人拥有房子。在许多国家,我看过四到五个家庭住在一个比单个美国家庭还小的房子里。

[注:There are entire cultures in our world where practically no one owns a house. 在我们的世界里,有整个的文明,没有一个人拥有房子。漏译“practically”, 这句话就成为一句虚假陈述了。]

[注:In many countries four or five families live in a house smaller than one American house. I’ve seen it. 在许多国家,我看过四到五个家庭住在一个比单个美国家庭还小的房子里。把独立句“I’ve seen it"合并到前一句中,把事实断言变成了个人观点。力度减弱了。]

  1. BEGIN YOUR FINANCIAL PLANNING ON THE BASIS OF YOUR FINANCIAL RESOURCES, NOT YOUR DESIRES.
  2. 开始你的经济计划的基础是你的经济资源,而不是你的欲望。

[注:根据你的财政资源而非欲望来规划财务。 若无必要,不要改变句子的动词。这里的主动词是“begin”,不是“the basis of your financial planning is …"]

Don’t ask: “What do I want? What does the world say that I should have? What does my peer group say that I should have? What is fashionable?” Instead, ask questions: “What resources do we have? What can I do with the resources that I have? What buying power do I have? What earning power do I have? How does God want me to use it?” 不要问:“我想要什么?全世界都说我应该拥有什么?我的同龄人认为我应该拥有什么?什么是时尚的? 相反,要问:“我们有什么资源?我能用我拥有的资源做什么?我有什么购买力?我有什么赚钱的能力?上帝要我怎么用它?

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).“Keep your lives free from the love of money…”These are our desires. Stop thinking materialistically. “And be content with what you have…” These are our resources.“Because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you’.” “你们存心不可贪爱钱财,要以自己所有的为足。因为主曾说:‘我总不撇下你,也不丢弃你。’”(希伯来书13:5) “存心不可贪恋钱财……”这些是我们的欲望。不要物质主义地去思考。 “要以我们所有的为满足……”这些是我们的资源 “因为上帝说过,‘我总不撇下你,也不丢弃你。’”

[注:一致性问题。**“存心不可贪恋钱财……”**与前面引用的经文不符。]

[注:译文的排版问题。]

God says, “I will give to you the right amount of resources; you will use these according to my will. It is that simple. You be content with what I have given to you.”When we take this approach we allocate our resources rather than attempt to pay for our desires. If we go through life attempting to pay for our desires, we will ultimately crash and burn. 上帝说:“我会给你足够的资源,你会按照我的旨意使用这些资源。就是这么简单。你要满足于我给你的一切。”当我们采取这种方法时,我们会分配我们的资源,而不是试图为我们的欲望买单。如果我们过生活试图来满足我们的欲望,我们最终会崩溃和燃尽。

[注:God says, “I will give to you the right amount of resources; you will use these according to my will. 这里的will,译为“要”比较好。]

  1. HOW MUCH MONEY CAN I SPEND ON A HOUSE?
  2. 我能花多少钱买房子?

“Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house” (Proverbs 24:27). The context here is a farming society; however, this principle is just as applicable to our society today as it was to theirs then. Let me give to you a rule of thumb used by most financial planners to give you an idea of an approximate amount that you can afford to spend on your house. “你要在外头预备工料,在田间办理整齐,然后建造房屋。”(箴言24:27) 这里的背景是农业社会;然而,这一原则也同样适用现在的社会。 让我给你一个绝大多数理财规划师使用的经验法则,给你一个可以花在你的房子上大概数额。

[注:“Let me give to you a rule … to give you an idea …”这是目的状语,译文没有表达出来。修改:让我给你一个绝大多数理财规划师使用的经验法则,让你知道可以花在房子上大概数额。]

The average realtor will examine your annual salary and say that you can safely spend 30 to 35% of your annual income on a mortgage for your house. In some cases it’s possible to go as high as 40%. But that’s pushing it. The only problem is that your realtor has not factored in God. Getting our fields ready means that we take a closer look at how much we are really going to need. 一般的房地产经纪人会检查你的年薪,并说你可以安全地将30%到35%的年收入用于按揭你的房子。在某些情况下,可能高达40%。但这是在逼着它。 唯一的问题是你的不动产经纪人没有考虑到上帝的因素。“田间办理整齐”意味着我们要仔细看看我们到底需要多少。

[注:“But that’s pushing it = 但这是在逼着它”,成语误译了。修改:“但这样太紧张了。”]

Let me share with you some of the things to keep in mind from a biblical perspective when you are thinking about purchasing a house. 当你想买房子的时候,让我从圣经的角度和你分享一些要记住的事情。

Oh, by the way, recognize that the realtor is really working for the seller and not for the buyer. This means that the more money that you spend to buy a house the more money the realtor will make. Don’t forget to check the tax rolls to get some sort of an idea of what your prospective house might really be worth. 哦,顺便说一下,要意识到房地产经纪人是为卖方而不是为买方工作的。这意味着你买房子花的钱越多,房地产经纪人赚的钱就越多。别忘了查一下税单,了解一下你未来的房子到底值多少钱。

Most Christian financial planners work with a term called “Net Spendable Income.”Take your gross income per month and subtract three things from it. God’spart… the government’s part… savings… What is left we can define as our Net Spendable Income. For simplicity’s sake, let’s illustrate and use 33%. Let’s say your gross income is $36,000 per year, or $3,000 per month. 大多数基督徒理财规划师都使用一个术语“净可消费收入”。 把你每月的总收入减去三样开支。奉献给神的,交税给政府的,储蓄。剩下的就是我们的净可消费收入。 为了简单起见,让我们举例说明并使用33%。假设你的总收入是每年36000美元,或每月3000美元。

God’s part =10% or $300. Leaving $2700. Government’s part = 20% or $600 . Leaving $2100. Savings = $300. Leaving $1800. 上帝的部分=10%或300美元。剩下2700美元。 政府的部分=20%或600美元。剩下2100美元。 储蓄=300美元。留下1800美元。 $1800 x 33% = $600 per month to spend on housing if you make $36,000 per year. 1800美元x 33%=如果你每年赚36000美元,每月花费600美元用于住房。 Let’s not forget that too many families struggle by with an income of $36,000 per year or less. 让我们不要忘记,太多的家庭正为每年36000美元或更少的收入而苦苦挣扎。

Now, let’s go to a higher figure and say that your gross income per year is $120,000, or $10,000 per month.

现在,让我们来看一个更高的数字,你每年的总收入是12万美元,也就是说每月1万美元。 God’s part = 10% or $1,000. Leaving $9,000. Government’s part = 30% or $3,000. Leaving $6,000. Savings = 10% or $1,000. Leaving $5,000. $5,000 x 33% = $1,650 per month to spend on housing if you make $120,000 peryear.

上帝的部分=10%或1000美元。剩下9000美元。 政府的部分=30%或3000美元。剩下6000美元。 储蓄=10%或1000美元。剩下5000美元。 5000美元x33%=1650美元/月,如果你每年赚12万美元,每月1650用于住房。

Of course, we recognize that we may not have much of a house by following this rule. But by following this rule, we remain faithful to the principle of allocating resources rather than trying to pay for our desires. In this way, wehave a financial plan that is designed by God for solid success. 当然,我们认识到,按照这条规则,我们可能没有多少钱用于住房。但是,通过遵循这条规则,我们仍然忠实于分配资源的原则,而不是试图为我们的欲望买单。这样,我们就有了一个由上帝设计的扎扎实实财务计划。

If we go out and find the house we desire and then try to pay for it, we are going to fail. We have to allocate resources. Remember that 95% of divorcees say that finances were a major cause in their divorce. Is it all right to have a mortgage? The Bible teaches that it is all right to borrow money on an appreciating asset. It is not all right to go into debt for depreciating items like cars and refrigerators. A house can be a great assetand a marvelous investment. But remember, houses can go up and down in value. 如果我们出去寻找我们想要的房子,然后试图为它买单,我们将会失败。我们必须分配资源。请记住,95%的离婚者说经济状况是他们离婚的主要原因。 我们可以按揭吗?圣经教导我们,用升值的资产借钱是可以的。为了购买诸如汽车、冰箱等会贬值的东西,我们去借钱是不可以的。房子可以是一项大的资产,也是一项了不起的投资。但要记住,房屋的价值是上下浮动的。

[注:翻译太累了以后,错误会增加。所以每天工作量不能太大。这一段的误译较多。]

[注:“如果我们出去寻找我们想要的房子,然后试图为它买单,我们将会失败。” 误译,也有“desire”的一致性问题。修改:“如果我们按照自己的欲望寻找房子……”]

[注:Is it all right to have a mortgage? The Bible teaches that it is all right to borrow money on an appreciating asset. It is not all right to go into debt for depreciating items like cars and refrigerators. “我们可以按揭吗?圣经教导我们,用升值的资产借钱是可以的。为了购买诸如汽车、冰箱等会贬值的东西,我们去借钱是不可以的。” 从结构和经济学逻辑上看,应该为:“圣经教导我们,借钱购买将来升值的东西是可以的。”]

[注:语法上看,“borrow money on an appreciating asset" 理解错误。前后文的对称结构,没有注意一致性问题。]

There are many scenarios in today’s economy where renting a house is a much wiser decision than buying a house. And we are not throwing our money away by renting. 在当今的经济形势下,有很多情况下,租房比买房更明智。 我们租房子不是在挥霍我们的钱。

We are getting value received when we rent. We are getting a place to live and we get the total flexibility to walk out of it clean at any time without a mortgage hanging around our necks. We are free of the worry of maintenance, insurance, and taxes. And, we have gotten rid of the risk that the property will go down in value. Biblical economics helps us to reach healthy financial goals. One goal is to own our house debt-free before we retire. 我们租房子的时候是收获价值的。我们现在有了一个生活的地方,而且我们可以随时灵活地走出这个地方,不需要在我们的脖子上挂上抵押贷款。我们不必担心维护、保险和税务问题。我们已经摆脱了房产贬值的风险。圣经的经济学帮助我们达到健康的财务目标。一个目标是在我们退休前拥有一套无欠款的房子。

  1. PROVERBS 24:27 PROVIDES THE GUIDELINE WHICH PREPARES US TO BUY A HOUSE: “FINISH YOUR OUTDOOR WORK AND GET YOUR FIELDS READY; AFTER THAT, BUILD YOUR HOUSE.”
  2. 箴言24:27提供了一个指导方针,让我们准备买房子:“你要在外头预备工料,在田间办理整齐,然后建造房屋。”

[注:“PROVERBS 24:27 PROVIDES THE GUIDELINE WHICH PREPARES US TO BUY A HOUSE” 箴言24:27提供了一个指导方针,让我们准备买房子]

[注:这里的“which”是定语从句,不是表结果的状语从句。修改:箴言24:27提供了一个方针,指导我们为购房做好预备。]

Let me show you what, “finishing our outdoor work and getting our fieldsready,” involves. Only when the work is done and the fields are ready is it time to buy a house 我来告诉你,“在外头预备工料,在田间办理整齐”涉及到什么。只有当工作完成,田地准备好了,才是买房子的时候。

Number One: We Are Paying The Lord His Proper Share Of Our Income. 第一:我们要把上帝应得的那份收入给祂。

Number Two: We Are Paying The Government Taxes According To The Law. 第二:我们要依法给政府纳税。

Number Three: We Are Out Of Debt For All Depreciating Items. 第三:对于贬值的东西,我们没有负债。

Number Four: We Are Saving A Portion Of Our Income For The Future. 第四:我们为将来存了一部分收入。

This includes an Emergency Fund that is set aside to cover our unpredictable(as well as predictable) future needs. Many economists say that our emergency fund should be somewhere between three to six times our monthly gross income. 这包括一笔应急基金,用于满足我们不可预测(以及可预测)的未来需求。许多经济学家说,我们的应急基金应该是每月总收入的3到6倍。 Number Five: We Have A Positive Cash Flow.

第五:我们有正向现金流。 A positive cash flow means that we are taking in every month more money than we are spending. Every month we pay all our bills and there is something left. If we will follow these principles, then we will discover that we are biblically allocating our resources rather than having to pay for our desires. 正向现金流意味着我们每个月的收入都比支出多。每个月我们都付完所有的账单,还剩一些钱。如果我们遵循这些原则,那么我们就会发现我们是在合乎圣经地分配我们的资源,而不是为我们的欲望买单。

I am convinced that if we begin to commit ourselves to follow God’s Biblical principles we will be delighted to see that God just might start doing somethings that we could never do with the resources that we have. 我相信,如果我们开始致力于遵循上帝的圣经原则,我们会很高兴看到上帝可能会开始做一些我们无法利用现有资源做的事情。

May God bless you, Kimberly and Don, with great wisdom as you make one of the biggest financial decisions of your lives. May God make His will so clear to you that you can’t miss it. 愿上帝以伟大的智慧祝福你们,金伯利和唐,因为你做出了你生命中最重大的财务决定之一。愿上帝向你表明祂的旨意,好使你不会错过。

[注:误译。“as you make one of the biggest financial decisions”,不是原因状语从句,而是时间状语从句。不能译为“因为……”。“做出了你生命中……”,一般现在时译成了完成时态,复数的“你们”译成了“你”。“May God bless you with great wisdom”,误译。]

[修改:当你们做出生命中最重大的财务决定之一时,金伯利和唐,愿上帝赐给你们极大的智慧。]

[注:“May God make His will so clear to you that you can’t miss it.” so … that …的句型没有翻译出来,算是误译。]


结论:

译文的一致性可以进一步提高。有一些复杂的语法结构,新的译者往往会忽略。这才是这种分析和点评的意义所在。

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