Skip to content

The same and the difference

阅读本文大约需要: 9 分钟

It’s kind of busy in China. Fewer sleep without David’s help. When he was there, I had many times trying to make him sleep but turned into sleep myself before him.

I stayed in Beijing for 2 weeks, preaching 6 times at Sunday morning, afternoon and Wednesday night. Each time I would prepare about 40 pages of PowerPoint, and revised it for several times with the double check of Dr. Shin. Anyway, that’s a very fruitful time and I learned a lot in a short time in the field, maybe more than anytime in the past year in classroom.

In my spare time, I stayed with Dr. Shin and we exchanged many information, the church, the mission, the people, and the life. I admired him, and happy to see that even he grew a lot along with his ministry these years. What happened in our tiny little church was amazing, God really blessed us.

There were quite a few things getting clearer about the future. The possibility of me to be a missionary in a third world country for 5-10 years before I return is increasing. I cannot wait for the time to come. I will not waste any of my short life after Emma and I finish our study in CIU and throw us into the exciting great commission.

Who says the need is plenty, but the workers are few. So I may still have several duties in China like training young people to fulfill their missions, either local leaders or missionaries. One thing for sure I will not do is to stay in US longer to be ordained as pastor. I will prefer to be a missionary, a teacher, maybe a sender when I am too old.

**********************

And I did come back to Chongqing for a month. Here is my home. Glad to see half of the people who come are new faces. The schedule is the same: Preaching on Sunday and Wednesday, but more on myself.

Before I came back, I thought about how would my internship go in China. The requirement are many, and many I cannot fulfil in Columbia. I cannot preach or counsel people in a real setting there. But that’s two things I am doing daily. I just begin to hate that I did get a B+ in my counseling course and just find out how complex the real situation is when I counsel people. There are family issues, grief issues, pre-marital counseling, negotiation and  confronting, comforting and exhorting. Then I have to admit that interrupted by people is just my daily job here, as old says.

****************************

I love to stay with my old and new friends here. Emma and David are doing well when I am absent but surrounding by many of our friends in Columbia.

The good news is that in God’s grace Emma gets her scholarship that can cover all her tuition for the next year. So for the next school year and the first time, I hope we will not need a lot of external support to pay our tuition and living expense except those we already had now. We cannot show how deep our appreciation to those who love God so much and support us with their love. And we thank Kelly and Frank in CIU who made these blessing true for us.

I will have a good student working position (plus an even better job offer); the babies will have different support from the government: WIC, SNAP, FI, Medicaid. That looks enough if our car will not break and nobody will get sick.

********************************

In my free time, I am reading a textbook for the next semester. Need to do some work before I come back so I will have more time to take care of my family. By the way, Emma is doing the same thing, reading Gospels for her class.

Next month, I will have a trip to several places before I finally come back to CIU. I will miss all my friends there.

*******************************

上周带着陶陶去了南京。时间不长,3天2夜。访问朋友,带他看看南京的大学是次要目的,主要目的是有时间和陶陶一起单独相处几天。

8月我回CIU的时候,陶陶就满18岁。从他14岁生日开始,我每年都告诉他,你是成年人了。所以到了今年,我已经不说了。再说就会被反击说,老爸你都说了5遍了。

这么罗嗦的老爸自然罕见,于是我们没有说这件事情。我们谈的话题很散漫,多半是我问他的想法和观点,他问我的想法和观点,然后探讨。我把想说的话说了,然后就总结说,以后见面的机会不多,你自己努力吧。

计划要给陶陶的8万元学费,因为高中每学期也偶尔支付,最终也没有筹齐,还差了1/5。我有的时候想起《爱的教育》中为了养家而深夜不停抄写的爸爸和孩子,于是假期的时间接了一个翻译的工作来做。大约有3000多字,600多美元的收入,能够多为他提供一些帮助。时间不够,进展也不快,一个小时大约可以做1000多字。

不过我最感谢神的是,虽然我和陶陶见面的时间不多了(从高中开始,几乎谁也见不到他),但是在神的恩典中,他的成长很好。性格、学习、信仰都发展很好。我很感谢他的妈妈,姥姥姥爷,还有曾经照顾他的那些弟兄姊妹,他参加的教会,我的朋友们,还有所有为了他祷告的人。

神再一次向我展示他的信实:我担当使命顺服神的心意,神照顾我的孩子。

××××××××××××××××××××××

我们讨论了将来的问题,很多东西陶陶因为没有经验暂时还理解不了。我们在南京参加了两场社交晚宴,他不太感兴趣的看着其余的人都喝醉了,觉得有点浪费时间。白天我们去了仙宁和江宁的大学城,看了他父母的母校。我还是推荐他读河海大学,不过他自己并不太感兴趣。

另外的时间我们就在房间里讨论如何写小说。如何主题,如何结构,如何人物,如何场景。讨论着讨论着就可能跑题,或者父子俩就沉默不语了。然后就各自上网看美剧。回来以后,我们继续用邮件和QQ讨论各种主题。娱乐性和经典,媚俗和拔高,娱乐性和复杂性和读者的智商的关系,性格测试,高考的分数和志愿,如何学英语……

我找妈妈要了一些陶陶小时候的照片。大部分是他和Anna,Niels在一起玩的场景。Anna也是今年高考,她是全美的优等毕业生,全奖进入Idoho 州立大学,Joe和Kim一定为她感到骄傲。Anna是前年16岁的时候,自己确立了自己的信仰,建立了自己和耶稣的关系。Kim说她的生命完全改变了。陶陶是什么时候开始自己的信仰旅程,我却不知道。不过他明确18岁以后受洗,我们以后在天国见面的时间还有不少,我也很欣慰。

××××××××××××××××××××××××

如果按照准备一篇讲道稿需要20小时的规格来计算,每周两次讲道以后,我基本上没有多余的时间了。

回来倒还是继续做着其他的事情。房子要处理,虽然不累但是烦心。要和中介,卖家谈判,也不是太顺利。还有寻找新的房子的事情也没有结果,一切都在未知的过程中。

除了聚会,就预备讲道,和每个人见面谈话,培训,外出看房。Emma每天一到两个电话,David在电话里偶尔叫爸爸。真想早点回去和他们在一起。

×××××××××××××××××××××××××

原来的基督徒朋友,只见了Jessie和Lina。他们都成长了不少,状态不错。Jessie现在全职服侍老人院,还有孤儿的事工。一起见面很愉快。

××××××××××××××××××××××××××

但是也有不愉快的见面。有个熟识的JH以增加了解,真正的属灵生命交通团契,计划邀请对同工们分享见证和宣教的信息,考虑给予支持的理由请我去和他们的几个带领者们交流了两次,结果是2+3个小时的神学和生活和成长经历的盘问。如果我的生命在CIU有些许成长,那么我的耐心可能变得比较好,什么东西都可以坦然地沟通,没有觉得有什么不愉快。第一次的目的看来是要判断我的信仰是不是正统的信仰,第二次我认为是要评估我生命成长的程度。我只能说我没有感觉出来是一种对等的教会带领者之间的交流,他们也没有事先告诉我这样谈话的目的是什么。

但是末了他们客气地说本来邀请你分享,可是我们的教会高度重视家庭关系,而我们觉得你在婚姻问题上还需要先接受进一步的心理咨询,所以以后吧。我说没关系,那么我走了。他们于是邀请一起祷告了再走。我没有想和他们一起祷告,淡淡地说你们自己祷告吧,我还约了人要见面。于是我看到他们诧异的表情一下子变得有点尴尬,然后就送我出门了。

我有点不快,估计他们这几天也会有点不快。到了下午翻译资料,看到即使要放手离开也应该明确说明理由,所以我给我的朋友打电话,告诉他我的想法和评论。我想说,第一,他们丢掉了我去分享让他们的同工们得到祝福的机会很可惜。第二,我没有看到他们这次和我见面的态度与几年前和我见面的态度有什么不同,他们的生命成长我没有明确看到。第三,我真心以为那位觉得我还没有走出以前的伤害,需要婚姻辅导的长老或许需要婚姻辅导。第四,这件事有神的旨意在里面,以后再合作的机会也很小。第五,第二次约我见面之前,应该准确的告诉我见面的目的,不要欺骗。

然后在晚上聚会的时候我就坦然地给一半以上的新成员们分享了以前的婚姻故事。是苦难的故事也是恩典的故事。但是,我回来之前就已经给Emma说好了,9月份我回去会寻找CIU的教授,对我们的婚姻进行咨询。我不想去到宣教的工场,心里还有什么破口需要弥补。

×××××××××××××××××××××××

为了7月祷告。

Tags:
%d bloggers like this: