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事工哲学(158)| 桓侯不应、桓侯不悦、桓侯体痛、桓侯遂死(传道人自我关顾的四个步骤)

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随手引用一组数据。从前也引用过,不过这一次是2022年的updates。采用二手数据来源,https://www.pastoralcareinc.com/statistics/

  • 工作时长:90% 在55-75小时,还不能算996。(90%of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.  (Pre-Covid-19))
  • 工作心态:84%是加入007待命(84% of pastors feel they are on call 24/7.)
  • 对家庭的影响:80%认为做传道人对家庭有负面影响,包括而不限于孩子们不愿意去教会。(80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.)
  • 隐私:65%觉得没有隐私,全家都没有隐私。只能做全职表演艺术家。(65% of pastors feel their family lives in a “glass house” and fear they are not good enough to meet expectations.)
  • 人际的疏离:23%觉得在家里是陌生人(23% of pastors report being distant to their family.)
  • 个人时间:78%是度假也会被任务和期待打扰的(78% of pastors report having their vacation and personal time interrupted with ministry duties or expectations.)
  • 休息:65%觉得过去5年没有得到足够的休息(65% of pastors feel they have not taken enough vacation time with their family over the last 5 years. ï¼‰
  • 内疚:28%为平时办一点私事没有报备教会而内疚(28% of pastors report having feelings of guilt for taking personal time off and not telling the church.)
  • 繁忙:35%认为教会的要求太多,挤占了家庭时间(35% of pastors report the demands of the church denies them from spending time with their family.)
  • 积怨:24%的传道人家庭对教会有积怨,觉得服侍伤害了家庭(24% of pastor’s families resent the church and its effect on their family.)
  • 配偶:22%的传道人配偶报告说,事工会将不切实际的期待投射到家庭之中(22% of pastor’s spouses reports the ministry places undue expectations on their family. ï¼‰
  • 期待:66%的会众期待传道人是道德楷模(66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.)
  • 神学教育:53%的传道人报告说,神学教育没有充分预备好他们将来的服侍(53% of pastors report that the seminary did not prepare them for the ministry.)
  • 意外:90%的传道人觉得服侍的工作和自己从前的想象大为不同——我以为是在讲道和圣辅,其实是在政治斗争和充当垃圾桶(90% of pastors report the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.)
  • 讲道:45%的传道人每周要用10-15个小时来预备(45% of pastors spend 10-15 hours a week on sermon preparation.)
  • 互联网依赖:85%中度-重度依赖(85% of pastors report the use of the internet and other resources have improved their study time compared to when they first started their ministry.)
  • 说谎:50%说他们每天有一个小时祷告(50% of pastors state they spend 1 hour in prayer each day.)
  • 匆忙:95%没有时间与配偶一起祷告(95% of pastors report not praying daily or regularly with their spouse. ï¼‰
  • 收入:57%的传道人难以维持生计(57% of pastors believe they do not receive a livable wage.)
  • 工资:57%的传道人无法有效地诈骗信徒钱财(57% of pastors being unable to pay their bills.)
  • 经济:53%的传道人无法安全退休(53% of pastors are concerned about their future family financial security.)
  • 压力:75%至少有一次压力下崩溃的危机(75% of pastors report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.)
  • 自卑:80%的传道人和84%的传道人配偶觉得不够资格(80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses have felt unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors at least one or more times in their ministry.)
  • 过劳:52%面临不切实际的期待,发际线后撤严重(52% of pastors feel overworked and cannot meet their church’s unrealistic expectations. ï¼‰
  • 杂乱:54%的传道人觉得这个角色工作繁杂(54% of pastors find the role of a pastor overwhelming.)
  • 冲突:40%在最近一年内与会众发生严重冲突(40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once in the last year.)
  • 夜总会:每周4-5个小时无效会议(75% of pastors report spending 4-5 hours a week in needless meetings.)
  • 抑郁:35%对抗抑郁,或者害怕做不好(35% of pastors battle depression or fear of inadequacy.)
  • 疲劳:26%感觉疲劳(26% of pastors report being over fatigued.)
  • 灵性枯干:28%缺乏维持灵性的手段(28% of pastors report they are spiritually undernurished.)
  • 孤单:50%以上觉得难以找到同工(Over 50% of pastors state the biggest challenge is to recruit volunteers and encourage their members to change (living closer to God’s Word).)
  • 自我形象低落:70%(70% of pastors report they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.)
  • 没有朋友(主你是我最知心的朋友):70%(70% of pastors do not have someone they consider to be a close friend.
  • 缺少支持:27%在危机之下无处可去(27% of pastors report not having anyone to turn to for help in a crisis situation.)
  • 试探:81%感受到过性方面的试探(81% of pastors have been tempted to have inappropriate sexual thoughts or behavior with someone in the church but have resisted.)
  • 调情:17%短信调情(17% of pastors report inappropriately texting with a church member at sometime in their ministry.)
  • 色情图片:34%服用(34% of pastors wrestle with the temptation of pornography or visits pornographic sites. ï¼‰
  • 满足感伴随:57%在服侍的满足中,感觉深深的失望、压力和疲劳(57% of pastors feel fulfilled but yet discouraged, stressed, and fatigued. ï¼‰
  • 脆弱:84%渴望亲密关系(84% of pastors desire to have close fellowhip with someone they can trust and confide with.)
  • 体重管理:50%以上患病、超重、缺乏锻炼(Over 50% of pastors are unhealthy, overweight, and do not exercise.)
  • 职业评价:传道人近乎底层职业,仅比汽车销售人员高一点(The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above â€œcar salesman”.)
  • 会众减少。Many denominations are reporting an “Empty Pulpit Crisis”.  They do nto have a shortage of ministers but have a shortage of ministers desiring to fill the role of a pastor.
  • 没有安息年:71%的教会没有(71% of churches have no plan for a pastor to receive a periodic sabbatical.)
  • 教牧辅导:66%没有平信徒提供的辅导支持(66% of churches have no lay counseling support.)
  • 工作描述:30%的教会没有工作期待和描述(30% of churches have no documentation clearly outlining what the church expects of their pastor.)
  • 执业风险:10个里面只有1个可以正常退休。(1 out of every 10 pastors will actually retire as a pastor. ï¼‰

这是美国的数据,根据The Fuller Institute, George Barna, Lifeway, Schaeffer Institute of Leadership Development, Christianity Today, and Pastoral Care Inc.等机构的调查报告。

当然,国内的教会似乎还没有见过这样的报告,我们的数据里最准确的,大约是有多大比例的传道人要么出去了,要么进去了。但不言而喻,并非只有轰轰烈烈地承受才是苦难,许多苦难实在是生活的日常所带来。在传道人而言,美国的传道人患上抑郁(或曾经抑郁)的比率是46%,普通人只有13%,几乎可以说传道人是抑郁症高危职业了。从上面的统计数据也能看到,至少这个职业低收入、高压力、长工作时间、社会地位不高、缺乏休息、难以照顾家庭需要、培训和成长不足,要说偶然抑郁一下,我是完全能够理解的。

大文化处境的改变大概需要一两代人,而大规模的抑郁发生,本质上是一个社会问题。那些紧张因素与消耗,连同我们额外附加提心吊胆的勇敢,朝不保夕的迁徙,若不无法缓解,传道人的抑郁症应该暂时无法系统性解决。我劝过不少年轻人不要太早就转为全职传道人,先在职场锻炼,积累经验,完成神学培训和装备,再来服侍。但效果不佳,还是不时会遇见在服侍岗位上极其挣扎的年轻人——由观念带动的个体实践转变,本来应该发生在大致的文化转变之前。

我后来改为劝他们自我关顾,甚至做过一次这样题目的讲座。我的主题就一个:传道人若不能花时间照顾自己(至少想办法照顾自己),似乎没有人可以帮助。再后来,我就讲扁鹊见蔡桓公——我最喜欢的三个字是“立有间”,以后若要注册一个预防抑郁机构,名字就叫“立有间”好了,但“桓侯不应,桓侯不悦,桓侯又不应,桓侯又不悦,桓侯体痛,桓侯遂死”,才是这个故事的线索,这篇“讲道”的大纲:

扁鹊见蔡桓公,立有间,扁鹊曰:“君有疾在腠理,不治将恐深。”桓候曰:“寡人无疾。”扁鹊出。桓侯曰:“医之好治不病以为功。”居十日,扁鹊复见,曰:“君之病在肌肤,不治将益深。”桓侯不应。扁鹊出。桓侯又不悦。居十日,扁鹊复见,曰:“君之病在肠胃,不治将益深。”桓侯又不应。扁鹊出。桓侯又不悦。居十日,扁鹊望桓侯而还走。桓侯故使人问之。扁鹊曰:“疾在腠理,汤熨之所及也;在肌肤,针石之所及也;在肠胃,火齐之所及也;在骨髓,司命之所属,无奈何也!今在骨髓,臣是以无请也。” 居五日,桓公体痛;使人索扁鹊,已逃秦矣。桓侯遂死。


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